Narcissistic abuse & coercive control
Gaslighting and rebuilding self-trust
You kept the screenshots so you could prove it to yourself later. That habit made sense at the time. It also tells you exactly what the relationship cost you.
You might recognize
Some of this may sound familiar
- You rehearse the story before telling it, to check whether it counts.
- Apologizing comes out first, before you know what it's for.
- Your memory feels like a witness you can't quite call.
- Small decisions stall while you wait for someone to confirm you're reading it right.
In the work
What we actually do
Getting your read back
Self-doubt that deep isn't a character trait; it was installed, repetition by repetition. We work from signal rather than argument — what you noticed, when your stomach dropped, what you talked yourself out of. Small, concrete, and yours.
Vigilance that learned its job
Scanning every room kept you a step ahead of something real, so it isn't going to retire because you've decided it should. We work with it as a skill that's still on duty, not a fault to be argued out of you. What we're after is how much of your life it has to run.
Anger arriving out of order
Rage often shows up late, sometimes years late, and frequently aimed at yourself for not seeing it sooner. We make room for it without letting it run the session. Out of order is not the same as wrong.
“Trauma-informed pacing isn't caution for its own sake.”
FAQ
Questions people ask
What if I'm in crisis?
If you are in danger right now, call or text 988 or dial 911. This site isn't a crisis service and email is not monitored for emergencies.
Can you tell me whether my ex was a narcissist?
No. I don't diagnose people who aren't in the room, and this work isn't about building a case against anyone. What we can work with is what happened to your ability to trust your own read.
I'm not sure it was bad enough to call abuse.
You don't need a verdict to start. We can work with what you noticed, what you stopped saying out loud, and what your body did about it. Progress there is usually gradual and uneven. Therapy outcomes are not guaranteed.
What if I'm still in contact with them?
Many people are, for reasons that are real — children, money, work, family. Deciding about the relationship isn't the price of admission for the work.
Do I need to be in New York?
Weekly therapy takes place via telehealth. I am licensed in New York and can only offer psychotherapy services to people who reside in New York State. That means being inside the state at session time, wherever you log in from.
Start with a free consultation
A short conversation to see whether we would be a good fit for working together. Weekly therapy takes place via telehealth. I am licensed in New York and can only offer psychotherapy services to people who reside in New York State.